Choosing the Best Condom

You're about to get busy. The lights are low. She's out of her clothes and your boxers are twisted around your ankles. But there's one more step before you can get down to business. That's right, you need the best condom for your protection.

We all know that choosing the best condom is a necessity in today's world of exotic diseases -- we shouldn't need to revisit the risks of going without one. But no matter how crucial condoms may be, they're still not the most popular accessory. Condoms can be a nuisance and detract from the pleasures of sex. And therein lies the condom conundrum: few of us enjoy wearing them, yet most of us must.

Here are some tips to make condom use as painless and unobtrusive as possible.

Choose the best condom brand
Some people prefer certain materials and textures when it comes to choosing the best condom. By far the most advanced condom material is a medical polyurethane called Microsheer, which is thinner and stronger than latex. Microsheer condoms are a little pricier, but they're worth every dime for the added sensation that they permit.

For the true player, Microsheer presents a long-awaited step up from the last generation of prophylactics. These jimmy hats transmit body heat, are nonallergenic and have no taste or smell.

This means that your woman won't get a nasty rash and an awful latex taste if she decides to give you oral sex in the middle of the main event. And you thought science was for introverts in lab coats.

Tactylon is another welcome development in the condom industry. Tactylon, like polyurethane, doesn't cause allergic reactions and stretches more comfortably than latex. It also costs a little more, but it's certainly a cheaper alternative to a funeral or a kid.
If you aren't ready to make the price jump to polyurethane or Tactylon, there are plenty of cheaper options. You can always pick up the "ribbed for his and her pleasure" studded latex or one of a seemingly unending parade of shaped, colored and flavored condoms.

Rubbers at the ready
Keep your rubbers someplace that's easily accessible, but not overly visible. Some guys stick them in the bedside table drawer, but I find that friends and relatives will sometimes randomly open drawers and find them. Instead, use a small toiletries bag kept innocently near the bed. This requires only a small lean to grab, and there's room for a couple of rubbers in there. No more than a couple, though; she doesn't want to see dozens of condoms hanging out, which can only lead to difficult questions about promiscuity.

Of course, opportunities to get lucky won't only come in the comfort of your own home. Always bring a condom or two on the road if you think there's even the slightest chance of getting some action. Keep them in the chest pocket of your jacket where they will be safely segregated from your keys, money and credit cards. If you keep them in a wallet or in a jeans pocket, you risk of damaging them or having them pop out the next time you reach for something.

Get it on, quick!
OK, so you've found the best condom, now it's time to put it on. Set your watches, guys -- this sequence is time sensitive. You only have a few seconds before you lose the moment or she has second thoughts and backs out.

If you need more time than that to get the condom on, just lick and suck on her breast or belly while using both hands to do any necessary adjusting. This will help sustain her excitement while she waits.

Opening condoms on the spot can be harder than you think. Instead of pulling it apart like a bag of chips, tear the packaging open like you want some. Also, tear it from the center and not the corner; it's easier.

If the partner you're with is a familiar one (not just a one-night stand), you may have the option of having her put it on. Handing the task over to her may result in it taking a bit longer, but it can be arousing enough to keep you raring to go.

Maintain your size
When putting the condom on, kneel on both knees on the bed and lean slightly forward. There are two reasons for this: First, the blood will rush to your manhood and offset any shrinking due to nerves or too much booze. Secondly, it puts you in an effective striking position for the next step. I don't recommend wriggling into a condom while lying on your back because the blood rushes away from your penis, and you'll have to further maneuver yourself into position.

In case of emergency
You'll need a battle plan in case the unthinkable happens -- breakage or worse yet, the condom slips off and goes M.I.A. There's only about a 1 in 50 chance a condom will break during sexual intercourse, but if you suddenly feel heightened sensitivity, that's a pretty good indication that the condom has failed.

At this point, stop and check out the situation right away. If you don't treat a mishap like this with the utmost seriousness, you'll potentially be exposing yourself to disease or imminent daddyhood. Plus, once the lady discovers that you decided on your own to continue bareback, it's guaranteed that she'll call the whole show off. If the condom has indeed broken or slipped off, get rid of it and put on a new one. Know that there's a chance that she'll be freaked out and want to stop.

Before cracking a fresh rubber, make sure you've located the last one. If it's nowhere to be found, it's likely still inside her, and she'll have to retire to the restroom and fish it out, effectively killing the mood.
rub 'er the right way
Some guys really detest using rubbers because of the loss of sensation and other associated hang-ups. No guy, however, wants to someday have to explain to his future wife that he caught a nasty incurable disease because sex felt better without a condom. And no guy wants to be surprised by the greeting, "Hi -- I'm your long-lost kid."