11 Cardinal Rules Of Human Relations

Everyone has heard the term "soft skills," and we've all been told how
important they are the workplace. This unfortunate moniker, however,
does the skills themselves little justice, implying that they play a
secondary, ultimately expendable role.

Not so.
Knowing how to deal with people is as important as technical or
administrative aptitude. Just think of the worst boss you've had.
Remember how his utter lack of people skills affected office morale and
productivity? How desperately did you want out?
The successful man is part worker, part diplomat. He understands that
working with others takes a certain touch, especially in today's world
of quick tempers and easily-hurt feelings. He holds true the words of
Dale Carnegie: "When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing
with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion, creatures
bristling with prejudice, and motivated by pride and vanity."
Here are some of the cardinal rules of human relations in the
workplace. To truly master them, you have internalize them and actually
make them part of you. Faking it will only get you so far.



1- Call people by name

It's the sweetest sound to anyone's ears. When you use a person's name,
you personalize your message; it becomes their own. It also
communicates that you care and that you find the person memorable. It's
a deceptively simple tool to lower people's guards, since it
establishes a bond. Pepper your sentences with names, and start
questions with them, like, "Steve, how are you doing today?"




2- Admit that you're wrong

You may think that you're losing face if you own up to a mistake.
Don't. Recognizing one's own errors is one of the workplace's most
honorable acts, since so few people do. Learn how to put your ego aside
and admit that you aren't perfect. Just don't overdo it in an "I blew
it" e-mail to the whole office, or by gushing apologies at a meeting. A
simple, "I made a mistake and I realize it," is all that's required.




3- Hold people to high standards

A few among us, commonly labeled control freaks, seem to think that no
one but themselves can do things competently. Don't be one of these
people. Trust the abilities of others. In fact, trust them to do the
best job possible. It's not about having excessively high expectations.
Believing in a person encourages him to really do his best not to
disappoint.

At the same time, be patient with those still getting the hand of a new task.



4- Show sincere interest

"How's your day, Joe? Good. Okay, I need you to go over some numbers
for me." That's not showing interest, that's sputtering out canned
niceties like that boss in Office Space . Everyone in your office has a
rich history of interests, experiences and styles. Find out about those
around you, even if you have nothing in common.
If a colleague says he likes online game competitions, ask him
questions about it -- even if you couldn't care less. Not only can you
learn something new, you'll score points if you bring it up at a later
point. People like being remembered.

5- Offer praise


Don't just say "good job." Be specific in your praise
and show that you're aware of what the other person actually did. "You
steered that meeting very well, Mike, especially when everyone was
distracted," is a good example. At the same time, be sparse with
criticism. Dole it out only when truly needed, and spin it as
constructive advice from a trusted friend.




6- Keep your word


Don't say you'll do something if you have no intention of following through. Your credibility hangs heavily on your word. If you flake on your promises, you won't be entrusted with critical tasks, and you won't likely go far in your career.




7- Show your gratitude


If someone does you a favor
or goes out of their way to get something done for you, make sure you
recognize their efforts. You're not automatically entitled to favors,
and nobody owes you their extra mile. If you receive one, thank the
person and offer to do something in return.


8- Be considerate

Never assume people will take your words at face value. Some will
naturally comb every word a person says, looking for a personal
affront. You can't change these people, but you can structure your
sentences carefully around them. Think before you talk and make sure
there are no ambiguities that could be misinterpreted.
It's also by making the effort to understand others' points of view
that you preclude misunderstandings. You may deeply believe that you
are right, but realize that others think the same way about their ideas
and beliefs. You have to respect their opinions, and see why they think
the way they do. Instead of arguing, ask others to explain their
positions. You don't have to agree, but you can say, "I understand
where you're coming from."

9- Give of yourself

Step out of your job description once in a while and help others with
their tasks. Do this without having to be asked. Saying, "Need a hand
there?" has a twofold effect. First, you encourage others to give of
themselves, creating a more positive workplace. Second, you buy
yourself a future favor, since kindness always comes back.

10- Be humble


Obvious efforts to impress your colleagues
and superiors will do just the opposite. No one likes a showoff. If
you're aching to have your accomplishments acknowledged, you'll simply
have to exercise more patience. Your achievements will gain genuine
approval if you let people discover them instead of flashing it in
their faces. And if you play down your successes, you'll be even more
respected for your humility.

11- Help others save face

Everyone makes blunders. Think back to the last time you made an
embarrassing gaffe. Didn't you wish someone would step up and play down
the seriousness of it? Then do the same for others. Laugh off the faux
pas with the person (not at him) with a friendly slap on the shoulder,
saying, "It happens to the best of us." Reassure him and others it's
not the end of the world. If it's appropriate, say nothing instead of
bringing needless attention to the mistake.


The workplace can be a minefield of fragile egos and sensitive
feelings. Just being yourself may not cut it. Be the top diplomat in
your office by knowing the rules of dealing with people. These days,
the workers who best understand human relations are the ones most
suited for management. Your bosses likely know this, and they will
notice.

Resources:

http://patriot.net

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